I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
