And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
