You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize