Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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