Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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