did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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