I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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