he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
