Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize