garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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