it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You left your phone here
Wait...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
