sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need water and some morals
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize