What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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