What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
