just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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