so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
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I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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