i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
