Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
