Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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