I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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