i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
