I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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