Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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