Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
