We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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