You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
fuck your aforementioned shoe
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
