Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
