I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
