I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
