Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I need water and some morals
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
