is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
