the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
