Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
