there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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