ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
