Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you had me at cake vodka
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
