is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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