so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
