3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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