your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
