Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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