Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
