I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
