he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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