He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
