woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize