Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
