first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
