Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
