Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never underestimate the power of titties
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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