He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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