i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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