hotel room ftw
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
