are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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