Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
