He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
