youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
