so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize