Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
