She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
