everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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