Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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