Say something about gay babies.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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