You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
