YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
