you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
