he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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